“It’s not that we want too much, it’s that we want too little”
Last July, I had just come back to America from spending 3 years in China, feeling a bit shaky and derailed on my path, and figuring out where "home" is. I knew I was done living a life that conformed to my parent’s expectations and was ready to reclaim my power, my voice, and my body again. It took me 5 weeks of my own curated BANDChallenge program for me to realize what it would take to CREATE a life that I am fully in alignment with, to be proud of, and to confidently say “I played full out. This is me. Hello World!”
I knew it would take massive amounts of courage and saying yes to opportunities that scare the shit out of me. And to believe in myself, trust the process with rightness and approval.
So I signed up for the OneTaste coaching program (CP12) during the end of my Introduction to OM class, placing blind faith that this body-based practice and the powerful philosophy behind “TurnON” and “Orgasm” will allow me space to live fully in my body while being in community with other deep divers who also wanted the same kind of transformational wakeup.
Looking back, my body said yes to CP12 before my mind could give me reasons why I couldn’t have it. Truthfully, at the time I signed up, I didn’t really know what it was about and what I would get out of it. This was the first time I didn’t let my masculine production mind take control “well, is this going to produce xyz? Will this be worth it?”, nor did I default to shame “but there’s this triggering word Orgasm in it…What will my family think?”
All I knew was that the path towards my deep awakening and self actualization had screamed that I needed to learn a thing or two about intimacy, relationship, and connection with self and others.
And that I couldn’t do it alone.
So I told myself that I could have it. I took a plunge to see what's underneath the surface...
“What we want is not to have what we want. What we want is to blow open our ideas of what is possible.”
This past weekend, I had just graduated from CP12 where I spent 7 months in a transformative and experiential Coaching “Change your Entire Life” program with 124 other deep diverse divers from all around the world. The themes from CP12 were Wake UP, Come OUT, and Join IN. Pushing us all past our edges, softening and smoothing our internal systems, moving fast at the speed of desire. We all played full out.
I’m in digestion mode now, reflecting on the subtle to huge transformational shifts that took place internally within and externally through all of the moments that expanded my consciousness. And I can say wholeheartedly now, without shame, that I choose to go down this path. I choose to live a life of Desire, Connection, Community, Healing, and Awakening. I choose to constantly Come Out just as I am.
Remember to Remember
This is a celebratory cheer to you all who said yes to Wake Up. I love you all.
Here’s to excavating past layer after layer of deep conditioning and presentation ego to get to the stillness of raw expression that lives inside our essential self.
Here's to taking inventory of our fears and acknowledging that by handling our internal systems, we have greater and clearer capacity to navigate through our external circumstances.
Here’s to nourishing the powerhouse of energy that generates creation, and accessing that nutrient that exists within us all in finding joy in every moment.
Here’s to asking for desires with rightness, staying present to receive, sharing our love and giving permission for others to have it too.
Here’s to leaning in past the discomfort to penetrate the underlying truth and staying in connection every step of the way.
Here’s to surrendering to what is, removing all aspects of control, and seeing all that is happening, the good and the bad, is happening for us.
Here’s to living in responsibility and commitment with freedom and choice in how to build intimacy, knowing that all relationship is for your practice.
Here’s to expanding the capacity to hold sensation and to love out with service and attention, filling up what is empty and emptying out what is full.
Here’s to maintaining eye contact and letting people in without dissipating from high sensation moments and running away.
Here’s to communicating healthy boundaries and playing within the right range.
Here’s to stating what we want, when we want it, and how we want it.
Here’s to living a life of feeling over formula and purpose over fear.
Here’s to living without efforting and just being.
Here's to living a life as a conscious creator instead of a consumer.
Here's to leading with an open heart and acknowledging tiny improvements always.
Here’s to exploring consciousness and keeping up with practices at any phase transition.
And remember it's not about "getting somewhere." Falling in and out of alignment is expected and happens (often), but the practice is to stay conscious and remember to always come back to the point of connection.
I am humbled to have been on this journey with you all and developing eyes to see and know that collectively, the world is waking up. And that we are in purpose to serve with connection, desire, and TurnON.
Thank you and good luck. Stay in connection. And continue to turn the power on, come out, create, and play.
Inclusive. Resourceful. Joyful. Relentless. Unconditional. Exacting. Surrendered. Magnetic. Powerful. Abundance. Generative. Available. Connectable. Usable.
Below is a special tribute for those in CP12 who've helped me see your life in your eyes. Thank you for your life lessons and reflections of your transformation as it was happening. Thank you for spreading your Orgasm, your verbal truth, and being the example. Thank you for being accountable to your intention and higher standard of play and practice. Thank you for allowing me to share the experiences of your practices and the integration of your values to the world. To me, this is intimacy. "INTO-ME-YOU-SEE"
**Special thanks to Nathan, Elizabeth, Marshall, Melissa, Haley, Kelsey, and Laura for completing and signing up for my RMV BANDChallenge coaching program. It has been truly amazing to witness you all transform. It was seeing your growth and having your support that helped me grow more and more in confidence down this coaching path. Thank you all!
If any of these reflections speak to you, comment below and I'll get you in touch with any of these fine fresh CP12 Orgasmic Meditation Trainer and Desire-based coaches!
EMPOWERMENT "COME OUT" COACHING
Not only has CP12 opened my eyes to communication, connection and intimacy, but it has also given me serious coaching tools to hone in my intuition and help people access their internal voice within.
Case in point: Interviewing 600 strangers-turned-friends in less than a year and creating a safe space to share themselves via IG: reMINDMe Values
As an Empowerment "COME OUT AS YOU ARE" Coach, I am offering free Values Dissect Exploratory Sessions (45 min) for anyone who is interested in private 1:1 coaching.
With curiosity and approval, I pull out your desires/goals and we go over what is blocking you from having what you want. I will then explain my BANDChallenge program methodology and we pick out 5-7 words that is in alignment to your values, your desires, and your purpose.
Check below for examples:
You have my permission to discover who you truly are and what you are made of.
Try it on. What do you have to lose?
Schedule a Free Exploratory now!