Last month, I went to the Goddess Celebration event in Malibu, an event run by men in masks and made to celebrate women in their glory. It was an inspiring event and I had the privilege to run into two very powerful women there.
At the very first initial encounter, Marie and I just held each other deep in eye contact for quite awhile. A tremendous energy exchange occurred between us without us even uttering one word. I recall deep soulful eyes that washed any shred of doubt I had of being there. I left the long embrace feeling softer and more powerful in my center.
My experience with Alorah was just as powerful. I observed her in the quiet subtlety of her embodying the grace and wildness of a true Goddess as she wind danced by the hill overlooking the skyline at sunset. Gorgeous white hair and a wide nurturing motherly smile with this sense of playful mischief in the twinkle of her eyes. I came up to her that night and thanked her for showing everyone at the event what being a real women looks like.
Turns out Marie and Alorah made their profound connections with each other too that day. And as fate would have it, the three of us all agreed to meet up one afternoon to see where our energy and attention would flow next. We met at Alorah’s beautiful Silk Temple in Marina Del Ray.
Right off the bat, Alorah wrapped us in silk and we just sat on her bed chatting and sharing our respective stories. Organic conversation with dashes of curiosity and approval of how we’ve unearthed the Feminine Way.
It’s these type of connections that I live for.
August 9 @ Alorah’s Silk Temple
PART 1- Dr. Marie Mbouni
A: This is Alorah Inanna and I am here with Dr. Mbouni, born in Cameroon, who I just found out is an anesthesia doctor. What decade are you in?
M: In my 50’s.
A: And you Miss Tiffany?
T: I’m 28. I grew up in Taiwan, raised in New Jersey, studied business and worked in cities most of my life. Really took this last year to explore my right sided brain.
A: So you have departed from the business world. And you have departed from your training in the anesthesia is that right?
M: I have cut down considerably. I have been transitioning from the purely western medical doctor to embracing my work as a Goddess, as a women. Really stepping into my feminine. Writing poetry. Healing. I’m a healer and that’s what brings me joy. Connection to the divine, to nature. to myself. And my medicine is love.
A: So you got connected to your Goddess how?
M: For me, it was like a spiritual pressure. It was a direct download. I could just not not. A lot of guidance, step by step, and listening. At first it was a conscious decision and as you know, after that, you have no control.
It really started in 2012. And I started studying modalities of healing, shamanic healing, energy healing, sound healing, and during that time what I noticed it was really about going inside and receiving. And stepping into my surrender.
As a doctor, I was really into my masculine and doing. I actually wrote a book about this reclaiming of my Feminine. It’s called “The New Feminine Evolutionary.”
A: So let me ask you. Perhaps of what you did, you were able to build a foundation that allowed you to be freer in your freedom now.
M: Actually, what I found out was that I really needed a lot of courage. Being a doctor is one of the deepest programming. I am not my job.
It’s really been about trust. It’s been intense because as a doctor, every month, you know you will have money. And now I don’t know where its going to come from. It’s been a deep deep journey of surrender, of doing, of healing, the needing to know, the wanting to plan a certain way. It’s been intense.
This is the first time I’ve lived like that. This has been going on for the beginning of the year.
A: That experience of living in trust that you are in and doing, do you feel like that is really the way you should do it for the rest of your life?
M: So your question is about living in trust. There is a big thing about discernment. Living in trust doesn’t mean inaction or confusion. It doesn’t mean sitting and doing nothing. Living in trust is trusting who you are and what you are here for. Trust is knowing you are worth it enough for you to show up and go where you are guided and take action and know at the core that you will get there. It’s trusting that whatever you are bringing is going to be received. Having a vision is a responsibility, being guided is a responsibility.
Living in trust does not mean living in lack and limitation. Not at all. The universe is abundant and we deserve abundance. And abundance means living in joy and peace.
And when we have gifts to share, it is right to be received and celebrated.
And so I really want to make sure that we have that discernment. We are not to go bare or hungry or no roof under our heads. That’s not what trust means. Or saying “Oh I’m just in transition, I’m just floating” that is not responsible and doesn’t inspire anybody. It’s very easy to be “Can I be on your coach, because I’m in transition?” Thats not what it is about. This actually takes courage, and strength, and showing up and doing whatever you need to do. However, it’s doing it in surrender, in listening, not from a fear place, but about doing things from a place of feeling full, from a place of love. That is what I call trust.
A: The source of the masculine taking over must have come from fear.
M: Yes, that’s exactly where it came from.
A: Tell me more about that.
M: So we are talking about the fear of the feminine. You have said and everybody knows that true power of creation is from the feminine. And we have the capability of birthing. When I say birthing, I do not mean being pregnant with a fetus. It could be a project, a relationship, nurturing a garden. It could be art. And creation comes from the void. And the void is mystery. And mystery is scary for the masculine.
So in order to feel safe, they had to control the feminine. So it’s only fear based. And the masculine is wounded by that too, because a lot of men could not express their feminine side. Because its considered weak, gay, whatever label. Not that gay is bad but that is from people who have fear over the expression of the self.
I am truly into self-awareness. I watch myself like a hawk because that’s when I can embody, transcend, inspire myself and what I’ve noticed is that I get anxiety when I let fear come in. Because fear is everywhere we live today. It’s everywhere. You step outside your sacred space and there’s fear. It’s the collective conscious. It’s pervasive. It’s everywhere. So when I get into “How am I..” whatever… it’s like “wait.” Where is that coming from? Is that mine? Why am I feeling that now and not 5 minutes ago? What happened that got me in that state? And then I can really see what’s going on.
As far as the fact that when we are in transition, we are creating and calling in the life that we desire and in doing that, we are letting go other ways of creating, we are letting go of other ways of thinking, and being, that is the journey. That is how it’s been for me. About how I have always done things. And now I’m doing things differently. Trust is not just trusting the divine. It’s trusting that whatever you are bringing is going to be received. And we have those fears.
Trust has been lost between women. And its something I've been transmuting and healing. This is the manifestation of the healing.
PART 2- TIFFANY
A: And what about you Tiffany? Did you make a jump like that?
T: I’d say so. I stumbled into this Feminine path this past year. I, too, spent most of my life in presentation, production, masculine mode. In my culture, we are conditioned into “saving face”. Just having this pretense that everything is okay. And not showing any signs of weakness or saying that I am angry or upset over something. I remember when I was young, I was shamed or criticized for having “too many feelings” or “worrying too much” so I made a mental note to keep all of that inside. I had an overachiever and competitive mindset in school, constantly comparing myself to other people. Doing over being.
It's been a year of deep personal work where I can admit that I spent most of my life in hiding. In my presentation and people pleasing. I spent the last 3 years in industrial China working under my father, hiding under his shadow for his love and approval. I learned a lot and at the same time, I felt my cells were depleting. None of my skills of being a connector worked in that environment where everyone had to follow strict formulaic timelines. I struggled to find my voice in that space. I loved my family so much and realized I wasn’t ready to sacrifice my own life to live under what I thought were there expectations for me to be.
I felt numb to my reality. I knew I needed to reclaim my body, and venture into exploring my identity. As my own woman, sovereign and independent, and the creator of her own life. Not being able to explore my truth, I’ve found a huge disconnect from mind and body. Not loving it or feeling it. It was last July where I bought a one way ticket to San Francisco where I gave myself this time period to heal and to follow my feminine flow.
I started dancing again. Poetry, writing, and also my newfound practice of Orgasmic Meditation gave me safe containers to feel my body and connect me back to who I am. Without feeling like I needed to put myself in situations where I wasn't ready to engage in sex, but to have permission for my body to feel and release for the first time. Intuitively, I know that was the thing that I wanted to develop a higher relationship with, my embodiment of my sex.
I know we constantly change, and if I can explore what it means to have a relationship with myself and understand what my body wants and follow that...while feeling sensual, like my essence can feel safe to come out and get to influence and impact the room, then everyone around me can feel the true essence of my joy. If that's my purpose in the world, then I need to start honoring myself more. And to believe that I have that capacity, power, and transmission, I need to fill up what I’ve felt was depleted for so long. So for me, it’s been a long process of unlearning, filling up and trusting that I can expand into the bold, expressive, radiant, vivacious Goddess that lives within me.
For the first time, I feel more myself than I have ever before. It’s unreal.
PART 3 - ALORAH
A: You know, our stories are so universal.
I wrote the book “Feeding the Feminine First” . By the time I wrote that book, my kids were 9 and 11 and I was getting up early in the morning to get the kids up for school. To get kids up at 6:30 AM is horrible. I mean if I was too late too many times, the government would threaten to take my kids away. I had to become this horrible mean yelling person to get my kids to school.
I’d come home to clean the house and then get on the phone to enroll people in the course on relationship. Spent long months to get into an hour long conversation with someone to connect with them enough to get them to see. Then, we got the errands of life. Grocery shopping and whatever they got to do. And then get home and get some food somehow. Get that finished and get on the phones and enroll people for our course.
This was before texting, Facebook, Youtube, before cell phones. There was nothing except for the phone. So at 11:00 at night, nobody has a right to say what I should be doing for my time. I would take a completely fresh shower, I would get completely made up all over again. I would get in my cat suit. I’d go into my sacred space and turn on my video and I’d let the Goddess move through me. I would do movement. I would be in my glory and I’d be so happy. And I would think “this is crazy.” I’m unhappy all day until the very end of the day. I should start the day this way.
That’s how we need to start. Why aren't we doing that? Because we need to go up and make money.
So the idea was somehow we need to make money happen through doing this. We need a new way for money to flow that lets us be free.
So the desire to do that happened in 1990. By the time my kids were 9, that was considerably further down the road. So anyway, I still want that and I still care about that.
I had spent many thousands of dollars trying to create my own network marketing company to educate and inspire membership for this vision. It was such a complicated business to make work. I saw as I got into it that I don’t want to run the company that has to be run to make sure everything had to happen. And I did it right before my husband died and the Twin Towers came down. So the whole landscape of my life and the world changed dramatically. And I had to let go of that dream and it was really a hard depth to let go of. Because I spent as much money as I ever could have trying to do this.
I never thought that I would pick it up again…
A Lesson from Alorah
She takes out a symbol and points at the triangle - WEALTH, SPIRIT, and SEX
It started coming through to me. What I have trained my mind to do, when I feel a stickiness between two options, I would draw a line and I would ask myself “What would get the stickiness out and evolve it to something.” In the beginning of this was Wealth and Spirit.
We are all doing Wealth. Doctoring. Business. When we go up to Spirit, we just can’t do it. It’s impossible to live doing something that doesn’t have meaning for us and value for the world.
So I drew this line. And then I made a triangle and said what is up here that would transform this relationship. And I thought of Sex.
Everybody is dealing with money, security and wealth on a daily basis. If you have a lot and if you don’t have it, you still think about it. That issue is in the minds of all human beings all the time. Spirit is affecting us every day. Whether we are paying attention to it or not. If you are an agnostic and you don’t have any connection to the Divine, that’s a different life than when you do. It’s affecting us. The connection to Spirit is affecting everyone all the time. And Sex is affecting everyone all the time. Whether you are the Pope or the prostitute. you can say no or you can say yes.
Think of nature. The bees are the wealth of the garden. They are the currency, just like money. The bees are that energy. And they put their attention on flowers, that creates new life in the garden. That pollinates the garden, that enhances the spirit in the garden, attracts more bees in garden, Thats the wealth of the garden.
I’ve been so focused on the split between Sex and Spirit and I’ve been working on healing that in the world. But recently, I’ve realized that the split between Spirit and Money is as big of a problem.
In the ancient days of Temples, people make pilgrimages to their temples which were the center of their community. And those Temples had priestesses in them and they went to sacred sexual rituals to an embodied experience of Spirit. And in that embodied sense of Spirit, you feel well and wealthy. You feel your sexuality and your turn ON in life and you feel connected to Spirit in your body.
The whole thing is an embodied experience.
When we went into Judeo-Christian morality and God based religions, the only way they could do it is to break this unity- and when you break that unity, everything goes into opposition- sex and spirit go into opposition and good girls don’t do that. So we end up into a world were women have to be virgins, you have to belong to one man. You can’t even have sex before you get married. Women become property and we become completely uneducated in our sexuality and we don’t even know how to take a man to Spirit, to our sexuality. Because we aren’t trained. It’s our mission and our nature to do this but we aren’t trained to do it. So it’s not happening...
A women can have sex with 10 men a day and she’d be judged but nobody will send her to jail. But if she charges a dollar, she could be jailed. Why is that? That’s because Female sexuality is the most valuable thing in the planet. If you leave it in women’s domain to educate, charge, provide, the men would never get hold of the masses. To get hold of the masses, they have to strip us of this as a commercial valuable offering. And then they are going to create a whole world of symbols and sexuality and then stand us in front of them and say "if you buy this car or this bracelet or diamond or whatever, you’ll get this". But you won’t right? So now you have an economy producing things we don’t need and people addicted to buying things they don’t need in order to get something they do need but will never get there.
So it is completely where we are using up the Earth, producing things nobody need.. Most of the thing we are buying, we don’t need. What we need is unity.
But what I recently got was what is going on in this, nobody feels wealthy in this. People with money are still looking for how much I can make and how little I can spend. Everybody is doing this. And women offering this for that at some level, they don’t feel healthy in their sexuality. There is competition in there. Fear of getting old. Distorting your face. That model, actress, whatever you might do to use your feminine power or beauty to make money, it doesn’t feel good. Theres no fulfillment in that.
Crowdfunding is working well because people feel good to give. Without any expectation of return. So I started realizing wait a minute, we need to completely move out of the exchange model and move into the giving. So I’m excited about Patreon. It’s totally giving. It’s giving so little. Everybody could give. You don’t have to give $100. You can give $1 a month. And if you could give $1 to 100 people that would be an amazing thing! So i’m just excited to think, maybe we could really do this.
I say a dollar a day for the feminine way. Women all over the planet can tap into this everyday. If they paid a $1 for that, thats $30 a month thats not a lot. And every women that comes in, she gets her own site.
I want enough of us to say “Lets do this!” that it happens!
It’s a responsibility. I’ve had this symbol for 10 years. It’s like wait a minute, you’ve got to do it. You’ve got to not just talk about “wouldn’t it be nice” but somehow it has to happen.
We have 3 distinct races and 3 distinct generations. Isn’t that wonderful? And without any trying. It’s just completely in the moment.
We closed our storytelling with a dance ritual that we Facebook Lived on all 3 of our different accounts. What came out of that 1 hour conversation and 15 minutes of dancing was freedom to share who we are, integrated in mind and embodied in our spirit.
From this place of oxytocin, we birthed the idea of creating an event together. An event where we would celebrate the Feminine with silk wrapping, story telling, healing ceremony, and wind dancing.
And it's happening!!
September 29th-30th @ Alorah's Silk Temple in Marina Del Ray, one block away from the Beach!
Join us women for our very first Feminine Fun and Freedom Gathering, a full night and day celebration to bring out and reveal who you are, who you really are.
Drop in and call forth your vulnerable essence, your powerful creative genius, your fierce beast, your inner sensual Goddess self! All parts of you are welcome!
Connect and nurture your feminine. Come for education, healing, integration, connection, and storytelling.
Thanks for reading!