rants

purpose, storytelling, rants, recap

CP12 Tribute to Transformation: WakeUP, ComeOUT, JoinIN

This past weekend, I had just graduated from CP12 where I spent 7 months in a transformative and experiential Coaching “Change your Entire Life” program with 124 other deep diverse divers from all around the world. The themes from CP12 were Wake UP, Come OUT, and Join IN. Pushing us all past our edges, softening and smoothing our internal systems, moving fast at the speed of desire. We all played full out. 

I’m in digestion mode now, reflecting on the subtle to huge transformational shifts that took place internally within and externally through all of the moments that expanded my consciousness. And I can say wholeheartedly now, without shame, that I choose to go down this path. I choose to live a life of Desire, Connection, Community, Healing, and Awakening. I choose to constantly Come Out just as I am. 

storytelling, rants

BREATHE TO SURRENDER

This post marks three different experiences I had with Aweli, Intuitive Healer and Reiki Practitioner.

I write this to reflect on the word breathe and to process the events leading up to surrender

Enclosed is a true story of my two hour healing session and how my mind and body mentally/physically felt when being pulled to access and release past trauma.

Q&A, values dissect, recap, rants, storytelling

Values Dissect with John Brennan, Photographer

In the thick of it, I knew that this is why I’m here. I mean not necessarily for nude photography. But an extension or application of something to pull me out of my body and my mind. In the light and dark of my subconscious, I wanted to explore the realm of radical self expression, self love, vulnerability, awareness, and connection with mind-body-spirit. I wanted to be free and unchained from all of the “should’s” and "shouldn't" dialogue from my past. Ironically, in stark contrast, within reality, John has me chained and tied in handcuffs with my hands above my head in blissful surrender. I’m exposed but not broken.

John shows us the pictures. I noticed my body at first and found it to not to be the main focus. It was within the faces. In Johns photography, he captures humanity. What it means to be raw and completely human and at peace.

This is Day 2 of Burning Man. This is just the beginning. I’m grateful for this experience that catapulted my understanding of self love to make room for more enriching tales to follow...

As we were dressing back up, John pulls me aside. He invites me to visit him back in Santa Clara for more individual photo-shoot sessions. I’m flattered but mostly perplexed. I had to ask, “Why? Why me?” He says something to the extent of “unconventional beauty” and how his mission is to spend the rest of his life capturing what that is for people to witness.

So a week later after Burning Man, I find myself with a strong impulse to drive to Santa Clara and connect with John. He’s a wise character. And I am tenacious and relentlessly curious.

Go with the flow, explore, and find yourself along the way.

He was on board with the Q&A interview. Here is John Brennan, the man who makes people see something in themselves they never saw before. This is the man who Goes with the Flow.

Here is his life story arranged from a lovely conversation as we pick his 5 values up together. 

rants

BELIEVE.

I was told to come without expectations And just an open heart and mind. 

I came originally for Trust, Discover, and Intention. Specifically I came to find home, to find my tribe, to call into question the deep magic of the Playa and beg for forgiveness, to discover, to let go, to breathe, and to seek out my purpose.

I left with much more.

What you put in is what you get. Let me start off by first saying- Burning Man is not just a week long hippie-ish orgy fest drug induced music and art festival in the desert. It far exceeded what I originally expected and anticipated. And I felt at the core of why I had to come- that it would expand upon my sense of humanity and the role I play in it for the future. 

rants

TRUST - DISCOVER - INTENTION

It's interesting really, I started reMINDme Values as a self-healing project for myself. To get out of my hamster wheel self-fulfilling world of internal dialogue "this is the way it is, this is the way it has been" and just to have a platform to write and focus about one thing at one time. To realign my purpose, my self, my personality based on my values that I hold to be true (at one point in time) in my life. To be conscious and mindful of my own intentions and the impact I have with other people that surround me. 

I had created these bands that come in themed sets of whatever I was going through in life. Truthfully, I just wanted something to stay accountable for my life. Everything I held about what I knew about the world was so close to slip away. The only thing I could grip onto was my perception of reality and who I was and who I aspire to be.

To write down my goals and values is one thing, to see it on my self and wear it with the goal for mindful intention and action is something else entirely.

feelings, storytelling, rants

A BOLD REFLECTION ON DESIRE

So in relentless “growth lies in the discomfort zone” fashion, my intention is to now dive deep into the bottomless pit of my soul and tackle that latent sleeping monster inside and push out my desires from within.

I want to plunge into this wreck, derive power from acknowledging the past damage that was done, and come back to shore finding the secret treasures that prevail. I want to hear what I want and pursue it; and I want to do so while giving zero fucks for what other people think.

By leaning into my desires, I hope to liberate my power, joy, self expression, and connection towards myself and others.